career’s funs – 1

ome fun warning stickers for use in software industry! 😀 We have tons of these kind of software, especially on Windoze. They make me remember a trial some years ago, in which a company had admitted that its optimization software does nothing at all but just slow down the installing machine a bit!

Warning: bloat-ware! This software will eat up half your hard drive. This software comes loaded with all sorts of fancy screens which require tons of bitmapped graphics. Of course we could have used simpler screens, but the the product wouldn’t look as good in the advertising brochure.
Warning: ad-ware! This product contains advertisements for all of our other products. The software you paid for is 20% software and 80% multi-media presentations designed to get you to buy our upgrade. Some of our best programmers worked on these demos so you’d better take a look at them.
Warning: turtle upgrade! Installing this upgrade will give you a bunch of new features, most of which are probably so advanced that you probably won’t use them anyway. However, in adding the new code we did slow the program down by a factor of five. Hope that doesn’t interfere with your work.
Warning: version numbers ends in .0! The version number of this software ends with a .0. That means that we’ve added a lot of new features and tested none of them. If you really want software that works, wait for the maintenance release due out in about three months.
Warning: fritter-ware inside! This software has thousands of options allowing you to customize it extensively. In fact, without much trying, you can spend all your time customizing the software and none doing real work.
Warning: nag-ware! If you don’t register this program, it will nag you every five minutes until you do.
Warning: air-ware! This box contains a single floppy, a two page manual and 352 cubic inches of air. The reason the box is so big is that we wanted you to feel good about shelling out $250 for this product.
Warning: manual written by engineer! The manual has been written by our engineering staff. Our engineers understand lots of languages such as C, Java, C++ and FORTRAN. Unfortunately one of the ones the don’t understand is English. But we let them write manuals anyway. They’ve created a master work containing a lengthy description of the theory of operation, the algorithms design, the data structures, and the new technology used. Oh, and at the last minute they’ve even added a few pages at back on how to use the thing.
Warning: nothing-ware! We don’t guarantee that this software will do anything. When you pay us money you don’t even get a copy of the software to own. Instead you get a single license to use it. If it fails to work, crashes, or wipes out data, we absolve ourselves of any responsibility. Basically, we have all the rights, you have no rights, and you pay us money.

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